We begin writing stories the moment we become self-aware. When we realize that we are distinct entities; that we're anIand not just a part of the greaterWe. Our inner narrator is born, commentating and explaining, describing and debating our experiences.
There are times in our life’s journey where we lose our way and become lost, disillusioned, and confused about our path to wholeness and happiness. A good, thoughtful check-in with your mental, physical, and emotional health can help you reconnect to your inner magic and wisdom, and renew your spirit.
Like most of us, when I was in my mid-teens to early twenties I didn’t understand much about myself. What’s worse, in my case, is that I have always been overly empathetic. It comes easy to me to assess the emotional state of others, and to not only know how they feel but able to understandwhy. This was an issue because as it got easier to share other people’s feelings, it became harder to understand mine. I could relate to others better than to myself.
I had a tendency to get caught up with dudes and guys, instructing them in the basics of being a civilized companion. Like no, it’s not appropriate to make fart jokes on a first, second, or hundredth date. Yes, it is rude to ask me out to dinner and then expect me to pay. No, it’s not okay to ask me a question and then check your phone will I’m talking. Yes, foreplay actually IS a real thing, and no, it’s only boring if you’re doing it wrong.
You can’t seal off part of yourself, part of your emotional grid and expect your life to be balanced. You can’t build a dam and then expect water to keep flowing down its natural path. Life is energy, and energy doesn’t work like that. Everything is connected. One broken cog eventually fucks up the whole machine.
There comes a time when you have to stop thinking about whatever it was that hurt you in the past. Stop speaking, and take a moment to think about what you are getting ready to say. If every time you open your mouth it’s to tell yet another story about how so-and-so hurt you, how this or that was unfair – then you’re caught in a cycle that is hindering your growth.
One day during a deep meditation, I saw how much of myself I was hiding from the world, and my own consciousness. And why was I doing that – to make others more comfortable? To get more clients, or a better chance at getting published? Was I seriously sacrificing my own comfort level, happiness, and growth to supply people with what they were expecting to see?